Does your salon encourage—actually encourage—stylists to say no to clients? If you’re lucky enough to be in a leadership position at your salon, you need to start encouraging your stylists to say no to performing services that just don’t feel right. I’m going to share with you when saying no is appropriate, a strategy for avoiding this situation, and how to say no confidently and kindly.

When To Say No

At my salon, Be Inspired Salon in Madison, WI, we teach our stylists that if a consultation takes more than 5-10 minutes, it is not the day for this service. At this point, the stylist should say no, and I’ll explain how to do this shortly. You’ve probably seen this situation happen when a client who has unrealistic expectations takes control of the consultation, and your compassionate stylist is too timid to say no and explain why this can’t happen today. Basically, the stylist is left feeling uneasy about the consultation, and there is no way that she is going to make the client happy. More often than not, the clients who have a shaky consultation will be the ones who call back to complain. Although receiving a handful of complaints is unavoidable, we could save ourselves a lot of heartache if we just say no from the beginning.

Try to Avoid It

Simply saying no is a great option when a consultation isn’t going smoothly, but there are other ways that you can avoid this situation altogether. For example, clients often bring in pictures of how they want their hair colored, and sometimes the stylist can’t do exactly what is pictured for various reasons. You know what I’m talking about, right? So, the stylist uses the client’s photo as inspiration and explains what she can actually perform during this appointment. While it’s great that the stylist is saying yes to what can happen while saying no to what can’t happen, the stylist often forgets to show the client a new photo. This is the fail. The only image in the client’s head is the photo that they brought in, so the stylist needs to show the client a new, inspiring, and beautiful picture of what will be performed today. If the client still isn’t understanding, even with the additional pictures, this is when you need to say no.

Another strategy to avoid saying no is by using the award-winning marketing tool: Meet Your Stylist. Meet Your Stylist is a customized tool that matches clients with hair stylists at your salon who are the best fit for them based on their personality, lifestyle, and relationship preferences. Above all, Meet Your Stylist gets the connection right the first time. When clients are uniquely matched with their stylist, the client has respect for you and your expertise because they have been prequalified to work with you. How great is that?

How to Say No

Now that we’ve tried several strategies to avoid saying no and decided when it’s appropriate to actually say no, how exactly does a stylist do this? Here’s your basic script, just add your own personality: “You know what, I just don’t think today is the right day. I really want us to firm up where we are headed with this look before we start. My fear is that I’m going to start working on your color, we put all this time and energy into it, and you might not be happy with the result. I don’t want that for either of us.” At this point, you can do what is right for you and your salon. You may want to refer the client to a different stylist, explain that you’ll be in contact via email with some new pictures, or even refer her to a different salon. It might seem scary at first, but you won’t regret saying no to a service that just doesn’t feel right.

If you’re a salon owner or manager, you need to train your stylists on when and how to say no. Then (and most importantly), you have to have their back when they come to you and explain why they didn’t perform a service on a particular client. The truth is, if you take care of your team first, they will take care of the clients. This is a win-win situation, so hopefully this has encouraged you to empower your stylists and build a fabulous team of professionals!

Do you have other tips about saying no, or want to share a troubling situation with other professionals? Share your thoughts on our private Facebook group; we all rise when we lift each other! To get more industry advice, make sure to follow Beyond the Technique and listen to the weekly podcast, including this topic: Episode 104.

Do you remember your best, “Aha!” moments in life? One of mine came while watching the Oprah Winfrey Show a few years back. I will never forget this, she said, (and I’m paraphrasing here) “When you say no to others, you are saying yes to yourself.” I’m a bit of an overachiever in life, and I’m completely guilty of biting off more than I can chew, but I’ve come to realize that success isn’t what you do, it’s what you don’t do. I’ve learned that it’s OKAY to say no. Especially if you have specific career or life goals. It can be difficult to make progress when your time and energy is pulled in a lot of different directions.

Unfortunately, you can’t start saying no to everything. It’s important to make sure you are saying no to the right things that will give you back time and energy to focus on your goals, whether that be growing your salon business, going back to school, or simply living a happier life with a little less stress. Lucky for you, I’ve narrowed down three important things you need to start saying no to.

#1: Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That Drain Your Energy

The first you need to say no to are any activities, events or tasks that DRAIN your energy. There are a lot of great things you can be a part of, but if it drains your energy to be there, then you are hurting the people you aren’t giving 100 percent to. Also, you’re hurting yourself by not spending that energy on things that could really use your attention.

For example, maybe you are a part of a local professional organization or chapter. You joined a few years back to network and learn, but you really aren’t getting anything out of it anymore. Maybe the meetings are farther away than you would like, or maybe they run too long, but you have been involved for so long you feel super guilty leaving. I’m here to tell you – it’s okay to walk away, it might involve a difficult conversation, but if it will take a little stress off you and give you back some time to focus on your business or personal life – start saying no.

#2: Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That Aren’t Important to You

It doesn’t make you a bad person if you don’t want to donate to every charity you come across, or even if you don’t want to volunteer at your church’s bake sale. We all cannot be a part of every single charity organization that’s out there. Even if you could, your time, money, and effort wouldn’t be as impactful as it would be if you put all your effort into one thing that was very important to you. I give you permission to say no to book club and spend your time listening to business podcasts that will help your salon grow or book another client to fill that time.

#3 Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That You Won’t Be 100% Present

I talked about this earlier, but if you aren’t giving it your all when you participate in an event, you’re not helping anyone out. You need to show up to what’s important to you or find a way to make those activities or tasks more enjoyable, so you do give it 100 percent. Say you find it hard to focus on bills and answering emails when you are at the office, because of this you procrastinate on the task. Then, when you are forced to do it, you dread it even more. Now you can’t avoid paying your bills, but you could take a day to go work at a coffee shop or library. That way it shakes up your routine, gets you in a new place, and makes you more excited to take on the task. The key is to be mindful of what and how you choose to spend your time.

How to Start Saying No

Of course, all of this is easier said than done – but it’s not impossible. So here is how I’m going to help you learn to say no to those three things.

First, look back at the last six months of your calendar and make a list of any activity, event or task you had to do that was draining to your energy and took away time to focus on your goals and dreams. This could be something as futile as doing laundry. I know that sounds crazy, everyone must do laundry – but do you really?

I’ve talked with a lot of business owners about farming tasks out. If there is a task that drains you, that’s taking up time you could be using to write your first book or take on an extra client—it’s worth asking if it’s possible to not do it. For me, it was worth paying someone $10 or $15 to do my laundry so that I could go to the salon and earn an extra $40/hour – I’m still coming out on top. This is just an example, but if you really evaluate where you spend your time, you’d be surprised how you can rearrange your life to make room for things that will help you reach your goals.

Once you’ve decided what you are going to give up, you need to stick to your decision. Even if that means you are going to have to have some uncomfortable conversions – it will be worth it.

Next, hone in on your goals! You will have more time and energy – so don’t waste it. And don’t refill your time with things that don’t matter. As humans, we tend to fill up our time as soon as we have it. Be picky with things you choose to do with your time. Remember, when you say no to others, you are saying yes to yourself.

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