The Third Way to Manage Stress: Find Your Breath

We breathe all day, every day, but never really take the time to think about it. Spend a moment now breathing deeply and make note of your body’s reaction.

Taking a few deep breaths should be your immediate reaction to stress, anxiety, anger, or worry in your day-to-day life. In those moments, taking the time to step away briefly and breathe can be highly beneficial when you’re ready to return to the situation and resolve the issues you’re facing.

Many of us are in stress mode all day and never give ourselves the chance to slow down and breathe. If you’re looking in the mirror and trying to breathe properly, it should look like your stomach is blowing up into a balloon, rather than your shoulders are lifting up towards your ears. Keep your shoulders relaxed and neutral. Instead, expand and contract your stomach as you breathe deeply.

This style of breathing works your diaphragm properly. It’s also the way that musicians breathe in order to effectively support the dynamics of their song. This strategy is so important to implement because it can offer immediate stress relief!

Yoga is also an incredible way to learn about breathing! I used to be against yoga, because I thought it would be boring. But once I found the right yoga studio for me, I discovered how much I loved it, and now my body needs yoga. Sometimes the things we don’t want to do are actually things we need the most. For me, that was yoga.

Yogis call yoga a “practice” because it really does takes time to master, and you won’t be amazing at it on your first attempt. I try to attend one yoga class per week, but the breathing part of the class is still one of my greatest challenges. It’s not the moves I struggle with, but making sure I’m not always holding my breath and keeping all the tension in is challenging.

The bottom line is that breathing will help to alleviate your stress! Your main goal should be to find easy ways to manage stress, because it’s not just going to stop being a part of your life. Instead of wishing stress away, you need to become more resilient to it, and find ways to cope with it. If you find positive outlets for stress, I believe you’ll be less likely to make decisions that will harm you in the long run.

I used to look to food as a source of stress relief--something that would make me feel good immediately. I also used to have wine every night after the salon closed. I was at the salon all day working like a crazy person, and I’d be so busy that I wouldn’t eat much throughout the day. Then I would go home and drink about a bottle of wine every night to relax and unwind from the day. That type of habit didn’t set me up for long term success. Yes, it was instant gratification, but those negative choices will eventually catch up with you. If you have positive outlets instead for when you’re stressed, tired, or anxious, you’re setting yourself up for much greater success!

Do you want to share your stress-relief tips with other industry professionals? Check out our sister company’s private Facebook group to interact with like-minded professionals! We can’t wait to see you there!

Do you remember your best, “Aha!” moments in life? One of mine came while watching the Oprah Winfrey Show a few years back. I will never forget this, she said, (and I’m paraphrasing here) “When you say no to others, you are saying yes to yourself.” I’m a bit of an overachiever in life, and I’m completely guilty of biting off more than I can chew, but I’ve come to realize that success isn’t what you do, it’s what you don’t do. I’ve learned that it’s OKAY to say no. Especially if you have specific career or life goals. It can be difficult to make progress when your time and energy is pulled in a lot of different directions.

Unfortunately, you can’t start saying no to everything. It’s important to make sure you are saying no to the right things that will give you back time and energy to focus on your goals, whether that be growing your salon business, going back to school, or simply living a happier life with a little less stress. Lucky for you, I’ve narrowed down three important things you need to start saying no to.

#1: Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That Drain Your Energy

The first you need to say no to are any activities, events or tasks that DRAIN your energy. There are a lot of great things you can be a part of, but if it drains your energy to be there, then you are hurting the people you aren’t giving 100 percent to. Also, you’re hurting yourself by not spending that energy on things that could really use your attention.

For example, maybe you are a part of a local professional organization or chapter. You joined a few years back to network and learn, but you really aren’t getting anything out of it anymore. Maybe the meetings are farther away than you would like, or maybe they run too long, but you have been involved for so long you feel super guilty leaving. I’m here to tell you – it’s okay to walk away, it might involve a difficult conversation, but if it will take a little stress off you and give you back some time to focus on your business or personal life – start saying no.

#2: Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That Aren’t Important to You

It doesn’t make you a bad person if you don’t want to donate to every charity you come across, or even if you don’t want to volunteer at your church’s bake sale. We all cannot be a part of every single charity organization that’s out there. Even if you could, your time, money, and effort wouldn’t be as impactful as it would be if you put all your effort into one thing that was very important to you. I give you permission to say no to book club and spend your time listening to business podcasts that will help your salon grow or book another client to fill that time.

#3 Say No to Actives/Events/Tasks That You Won’t Be 100% Present

I talked about this earlier, but if you aren’t giving it your all when you participate in an event, you’re not helping anyone out. You need to show up to what’s important to you or find a way to make those activities or tasks more enjoyable, so you do give it 100 percent. Say you find it hard to focus on bills and answering emails when you are at the office, because of this you procrastinate on the task. Then, when you are forced to do it, you dread it even more. Now you can’t avoid paying your bills, but you could take a day to go work at a coffee shop or library. That way it shakes up your routine, gets you in a new place, and makes you more excited to take on the task. The key is to be mindful of what and how you choose to spend your time.

How to Start Saying No

Of course, all of this is easier said than done – but it’s not impossible. So here is how I’m going to help you learn to say no to those three things.

First, look back at the last six months of your calendar and make a list of any activity, event or task you had to do that was draining to your energy and took away time to focus on your goals and dreams. This could be something as futile as doing laundry. I know that sounds crazy, everyone must do laundry – but do you really?

I’ve talked with a lot of business owners about farming tasks out. If there is a task that drains you, that’s taking up time you could be using to write your first book or take on an extra client—it’s worth asking if it’s possible to not do it. For me, it was worth paying someone $10 or $15 to do my laundry so that I could go to the salon and earn an extra $40/hour – I’m still coming out on top. This is just an example, but if you really evaluate where you spend your time, you’d be surprised how you can rearrange your life to make room for things that will help you reach your goals.

Once you’ve decided what you are going to give up, you need to stick to your decision. Even if that means you are going to have to have some uncomfortable conversions – it will be worth it.

Next, hone in on your goals! You will have more time and energy – so don’t waste it. And don’t refill your time with things that don’t matter. As humans, we tend to fill up our time as soon as we have it. Be picky with things you choose to do with your time. Remember, when you say no to others, you are saying yes to yourself.

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